HANDLING CONFLICT
It is not unusual to experience conflict, but how should we handle conflict as Christians?
10/10/20265 min read
CONFLICT RESOLUTION
We are all familiar with conflict and have experienced it to varying degrees of magnitude. We sometimes have conflict within ourselves, with loved ones, or with others in our community. We sometimes even take a stand for or against people that we do not know personally based on something we have seen or heard.
The reason we have conflicts is given to us in the Word. The scriptures below point out that the fleshly desires of our bodies are an enemy of the Holy Spirit.
Jeremiah 17:9-10 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? I the Lord search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings.
James 4:1 From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members?
Romans 8:7-8 Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God.
James 1:14-15 But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.
1 John 2:16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.
1 Peter 2:11 Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul;
1 Corinthians 14:33 For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.
How do we handle conflict? In the Word of God there is a solution. We can start with looking at what Paul said about Euodias and Syntyche in Philippians 4:2-3 : “I beseech Euodias, and beseech Syntyche, that they be of the same mind in the Lord”…
Paul did not ask Euodias and Syntyche to put their feelings aside or to ignore their differences. He asked that they be of one mind “in the Lord”. “In the Lord” implies that they come together according to what pleases the Lord. We find out what pleases the Lord through reading His Word. The following scriptures help us to see what the Word says about being of the same mind in the Lord. We see what we need to hold on to and what we need to let go of.
Romans 13:14 But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.
Ephesians 4:3 Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
Epheshians 4:31-32 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
Colossians 3:12-15 Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.
Hebrews 12:14-15 Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;
How do we grow up and go on from conflict? The word tells us the answer to that too. The Word tells us to be of one mind. The scripture Amos 3:3 asks: Can two walk together, except they be agreed? We need to move forward after experiencing conflict. Prayer, open communication, hearts of forgiveness, peacefulness and love are tools we need to handle conflict and the same tools are needed to move on from conflict. We need to continue to reach forward by being spiritually minded, growing in Christ, denying the flesh the opportunity to rise above the Spirit, and letting the Spirit grow in us because we seek to please God. We need to go on to perfection (Hebrews 6:1), asking God keep us, to search our hearts, test our desires and motives, create a clean heart in us, renew a right spirit within us (Psalm 51:10), and keep us from evil. These scriptures address how we can move forward in unity and in Spiritual growth, including scriptural prayers.
Galatians 5:16-17 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.
Galatians 5:26 Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.
Philippians 3:16 Nevertheless, whereto we have already attained, let us walk by the same rule, let us mind the same thing.
Romans 6:12 Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof.
Psalm 26:2 Examine me, O Lord, and prove me; try my reins and my heart.
Psalm 19:12 Who can understand his errors? cleanse thou me from secret faults.
1 Chronicles 4:10 And Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying, Oh that thou wouldest bless me indeed, and enlarge my coast, and that thine hand might be with me, and that thou wouldest keep me from evil, that it may not grieve me! And God granted him that which he requested.
Philippians 3:13-14 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
So, we see that conflict stems from the flesh serving the flesh, which is contrary to the Spirit of God. We need the Holy Spirit in us to keep us from conflict and put us on the right track when we are involved or have been in conflict. When conflict arises, at least one side is wrong. If the individuals or groups involved in a conflict are not approaching the situation from in a God-centered manner, both (or all) sides can be wrong. Resolution of conflict may be obtained through peaceful discussion or with the help of counseling from church leaders as Paul recommended for Euodias and Syntyche, but the heart can only be cleansed by the Lord. Psalm 119:9 asks Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to thy word. We cannot please God or even get close to Him without abiding in His word. Let us hide it in our hearts so that we will not sin against Him, even during times of trouble, including conflict. Amen!
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